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Dying Me

Weeping always
Crying for hours
Having sleepless nights
Has become my daily routine

My family wants to know about me
My friends wants to know about me
But why I don't know

Why should I tell them
Why they want to know
Why they can't leave me alone
Why they can't

Life has come to a standstill
I don't know
What is going​ wrong

With each passing day
I am failing in life
Except failing nothing is seen

I don't know
What is happening to me
Why it is happening
I have no answer

I have failed in Friendships
I have failed in my short term ,long term goals
I have failed in relationships

I am not able to do things
Which made me happy once
I am not able to do anything

Reading books which I loved are
Waiting for me to read them

Writing which was so dear to me
Which was my life
Waits for me everyday​

I am not able to read much
I am not able to write anything good
Better than my previous writings

I don't know
Why I am not happy
After being a Graduate

I don't want people to ask me anything
I don't want people to congratulate me
I don't want people to be around me

I want freedom
Freedom from everyone
Alone and comfortable

I have failed in love
Relationships which were nothing

I don't know
Why I am thinking so much

I want people to leave me alone
None should talk to me
None should advise me

I want to be
Free like a bird
Free like water

I don't want to be on social media
I want to leave all groups
I want to deactivate all my accounts

I want to run away from everything
I want to be at peace

Struggling with my fears
Struggling with my thoughts
Struggling with my anxieties
Struggling with my insecurities
Struggling with depression
Have made me paralysed and lifeless

Wrong decisions made
Blunders committed by me
Mistakes done
Misunderstandings created by me
Want me to save myself from myself

Nothing makes me happy
Nothing makes me angry
Nothing makes me sad

Love and care
Showered upon me by my parents
Kills me

So much love from my sister and brothers
Kills me more from inside

I don't know
Why do I feel this

I have so much to tell
But have none
I have so much to share
But have none

All are busy
My family sister and brothers
My friends

I don't want people to call me immature
I don't want people to have sympathy with me
I don't want people to call me an attention seeker
I don't want people to call me a crying baby

Everyone is there to be there with me
But not when I need them the most
Everyone says to share
But what and when none tells me

I want to have an eternal sleep
But the very thought of my family
Makes me hate myself

I have been a bad daughter
I have been a worse student
I have been the worst friend

Shattering all the hopes
So many times
Shattering the believe in me
So many times
Have made me lifeless

So lifeless that I don't want to live anymore
With people around me

I don't want people to
See me dying in every way.

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With and Without you.

Life seems apart without you
You were the reason for my smile
You were the reason for my joy
You were the reason for my happiness
You were the reason for my life

I see your messages hundred times
I re read your messages thousand times
I  see the pictures clicked with you million times
I see the emails from you for the billionth time

I remember how we used to talk daily
Without getting bored
Without running off topics
How nights turned to mornings
Talking to you
How stars turned to sunrise
Chatting with you

I don't hear from you anymore
I don't see you anymore
I don't meet you often
I don't converse with you

Yet you are always in my mind
Yet you are always in my heart
Yet you are always in my memories
Yet you are always in my dreams

You were so near to me
Yet so far
You were lost in your world
Yet so in my mind

At times I ponder was I so bad
What went wrong
What blunders I created
What wrong I did

Being my self was my mistake
Being so much into you was my mistake

The Witty White.

The night is falling in
Stars shinning so bright Moonlight reaching out to me Wind blowing like a sweet melody
I see you Through my window I see you covered in white  All white
I see your carriage White in colour Decorated with white flowers and
With white ribbons.

I know you are waiting for me So am I I also long for you I also wait for you passionately
I see no reason to be there I have lost everything The things which were treasure for me The time which I had
I have lost everyone My family  My friends Whom I thought  As my best friends As my true friends
I have lost all the hopes I have lost all the passion I have lost all the happiness I have lost all the push
I have become heartless I have become emotionless I have become painless I have become soulless
When I had feelings They told me to grow up When I was happy always They told me to grow up
When I had heart  They told me to be serious When I had emotional life They told me to be serious
When I found hopes to live They told me…

Someday Somewhere

On my way to office
I see him everyday
At the same place
In the same clothes

Wearing bright white  t-shirt and
A Black Pants
With slogan
Work Hard

I see him always
Sitting under a shady tree
With him boundless packed
Selling books and magazines

I try to interact with him
Everytime I try
I am unable to interact
With him as he is busy with his other customers

Seeing him
So busy
I change my mind and
Move on to my way

Thinking about him
So deeply
I am not able to concentrate on my work
In my office

Making up my mind of
Meeting him and interacting with him
On my way back
I quickly leave my office

Sadly he is not there
I see him everywhere
Yet can't find him
Searching him for five minutes

I ask other people
Adjacent to his place
People or may be his friends
About him leaving his place quite early

Sadly I walk
To my bus stop
Waiting for my bus
I think of him

I see him everywhere
I see him following me
I see him standing next to me
In my daydreaming

Getting in my bus
I don't take win…