Friday, 23 June 2017

Biding Farewell

Sitting silently in my room
With music playing in my phone
Ears covered with  headphones
Waiting for sleep to come
I sat there

Listening to my favorite songs
On repeat mode
Humming them
I sat there

Remembering some happy days of my life
Moments spent with my loved ones
Memories made to cherish always
I sat there

Writing my bucket list
Adding more and more to it
Without giving a damn to anything
I sat there

Keeping my phone aside
Removing my headphones
Trying to sleep
I lay there

Rain pouring down
Rain of tears
Rolling down my cheeks
I lay there

Seeing the photos
Looking at them
With mixed feelings
I lay there

Reading the old texts
Reading the old mails
Exchanged with my people
I lay there

Watching them scoring new heights
Hoping for a better tomorrow
Seeing them smile
I lay there

Hoping for a better world for me
Drenched in sweat of sadness
Waiting for the sunshine
I lay there

Hearing the music of the weather
Pit-patter drops of rain
Falling on my room's roof
I lay there

Quietly I move out of my room
To feel the rain
To be a kid again
I stood there

Feeling the rain water
In my hands
I stood there

Nothing is going as expected
Nothing seems to be better
Waiting for the right moment
I stood there

Going no where in life
Yet with a happy face
Waiting for things to be normal
I stood there

Lost in my own pessimistic thoughts
Lost in my own  depressed world
I forgot
Someone patting on my shoulders

To my utter surprise
It was the rain
Drenching everything

Moving closely to me
Rain talked to me
About her life

How she is cursed by many
For being on time
For being late

How children wait for her
Forgetting everything
Seeing her

How mature and adult people
Try to save them from her
Deep down want to get drenched in rain

How couples madly in love
Celebrate her coming
Holding each other hands tight

How suddenly the other people
Never leave a stone unturned to her
Complain her of coming at the wrong time

How weather becomes pleasant
Seeing people enjoy so much
Having their best time

She feels good
She feels great
She feels privileged

To bring a smile on their faces
To give them happiness
To soothe them emotionally

She tells me
She shares with me
Her life

Her sadness
The world is ignorant of
Her pain
The world is ignorant of

Sadness of leaving her home
Her magnificient empire
Her beautiful home
The Sky

Pain of losing her friends
Pain of breaking of her bond
Pain of going away from her friends

Friends who are always with her
Holding her tightly
Caring for her

Being there for her
Whenever she wants to
Sharing so much with her friends

Her friends who are divided by their shapes
Yet united by their work
Her friends

She was feeling low
The pain of losing the touch
Of her mother nature

She feels sad to go away from
Her friends

She tells that when her friends are sad
When they feel low
They cry
They cry a lot

And sends her to us
The rain which we see
Are her friends tears

When they can't hold on for much time
They just let it go as HIS will
And she starts pouring from above

She sees her friends for the last time
Before she starts her journey
They prepare her for her flight

Lightning​ and thunderstorms
Helped by the wind
They collide with each other

Supporting her as always
The voice which is so loud
It is actually the screaming of the clouds
Crying for help

Helplessly they collide with each other
Sending her to us
Making us happy

HE sees all this
With HIS little angel

HE knows well
Feeling her
Children will be the happiest
Catching her
They try to hold her in their tiny hands

HE sees her
With his another  angel

Youth is engrossed in feeling rain
Getting drenched
Sitting silently
Having a good time

Seen by people
They are thrashed by them
For being in love
A sin for them

Finally he sees her girl
Taking her last breath
Looking at him
Heavenly in love
HIS angel standing there
Taking her to heaven

HE sees all this
With his angel

An old couple seeing them together in love
For the last ninety years
Setting an example for others

Having tea
Remembering their old days
Yet golden days of life
Their college days

Seeing how life has changed
Over the years
How everything has changed
Yet nothing

Love becoming strong
Day by day
Togetherness flowing always

This time HIS angel
Appears in a form of HIS creation
A girl crying

Seeing her cry
They ask her
Tells them which is best for her

The girl vanishes into thin air
Never ending
Elderly  love

Telling me all this
She cries a lot
Seeing her cry

I introspect myself
What I had was the greatest treasure
What I lost was meant to be

In complicating my life
I am losing which I have at present
My family
My friends
My people

Who have been with me
Who are with me
Who will be with me always

I remember his words
I remember him
With sadness engulfing me

I cry for him everyday
I miss him everyday
Meeting him for once

Not only me but our whole family
Misses him everyday
In happiness
In sadness

She picks me up
She makes me calm down
She reveals her coming

She tells me all this
She has been sent by him
...........Three years ago

She told me
Reading my mind
He sent her

To tell me not to feel low
To take care of our family
To congratulate me on achieving new heights

To remember his teachings
To remember he is always there for us

To tell me that he is always there with us
With us everywhere
Seeing us
Remembering us from his new home

With HIM living peacefully
Helping us in every way possible
Seeing us happy is his happiest day

Telling me this
It stopped raining
With a rainbow for the first time of eight colours
Eighth colour was white
Symbolising peace

With a sunshine
Reaching my face
Penetrating into my skin

He with HIM smiling at me
Wishing us best in life
I stood there with a big smile
Waving at the sky

Looking at ........ photos
With a smile on my face
Remembering the best days spent

I came inside my room
Sleep coming to me
I slept with happiness in my eyes

To welcome a new day in my life
To welcome a new chapter in my life
With saying hello to my life
Biding my lost life a farewell.

Monday, 19 June 2017

Dying Me

Weeping always
Crying for hours
Having sleepless nights
Has become my daily routine

My family wants to know about me
My friends wants to know about me
But why I don't know

Why should I tell them
Why they want to know
Why they can't leave me alone
Why they can't

Life has come to a standstill
I don't know
What is going​ wrong

With each passing day
I am failing in life
Except failing nothing is seen

I don't know
What is happening to me
Why it is happening
I have no answer

I have failed in Friendships
I have failed in my short term ,long term goals
I have failed in relationships

I am not able to do things
Which made me happy once
I am not able to do anything

Reading books which I loved are
Waiting for me to read them

Writing which was so dear to me
Which was my life
Waits for me everyday​

I am not able to read much
I am not able to write anything good
Better than my previous writings

I don't know
Why I am not happy
After being a Graduate

I don't want people to ask me anything
I don't want people to congratulate me
I don't want people to be around me

I want freedom
Freedom from everyone
Alone and comfortable

I have failed in love
Relationships which were nothing

I don't know
Why I am thinking so much

I want people to leave me alone
None should talk to me
None should advise me

I want to be
Free like a bird
Free like water

I don't want to be on social media
I want to leave all groups
I want to deactivate all my accounts

I want to run away from everything
I want to be at peace

Struggling with my fears
Struggling with my thoughts
Struggling with my anxieties
Struggling with my insecurities
Struggling with depression
Have made me paralysed and lifeless

Wrong decisions made
Blunders committed by me
Mistakes done
Misunderstandings created by me
Want me to save myself from myself

Nothing makes me happy
Nothing makes me angry
Nothing makes me sad

Love and care
Showered upon me by my parents
Kills me

So much love from my sister and brothers
Kills me more from inside

I don't know
Why do I feel this

I have so much to tell
But have none
I have so much to share
But have none

All are busy
My family sister and brothers
My friends

I don't want people to call me immature
I don't want people to have sympathy with me
I don't want people to call me an attention seeker
I don't want people to call me a crying baby

Everyone is there to be there with me
But not when I need them the most
Everyone says to share
But what and when none tells me

I want to have an eternal sleep
But the very thought of my family
Makes me hate myself

I have been a bad daughter
I have been a worse student
I have been the worst friend

Shattering all the hopes
So many times
Shattering the believe in me
So many times
Have made me lifeless

So lifeless that I don't want to live anymore
With people around me

I don't want people to
See me dying in every way.

Wednesday, 14 June 2017

Old Man

Yesterday I saw him
In bus
Sitting in front of me
With a cheerful smile on his face

Never  had I thought
I will be seeing him again
Around so many people
He was still the same
As he was years ago

I did wanted to have a talk with him
To relive moments shared with him
In the same city

City which never sleeps
City of dreams
City where weather can't be predicted
City where nothing​ is impossible
Mumbai city

I heard his voice after years
Soothing my ears
After so many years
Every word reaching to my heart

I wanted to ask​
Facing him was difficult
Asking about him was more difficult

I remained seated on my seat
Tried not to see him
Covering myself up with a stroll
To be overlooked by him

He got down from the bus
At the next stop
Still smiling

Puzzled I was
Seeing him
Sitting in the bus

I was looking here and there
I was confused
At the same time was curious

I was wondering
What was he doing
Why he was there

I wanted to know the reason
I wanted to ask him why he was doing so

I asked about him
From the people sitting in bus
I was dumb for a second to know the reason

They told me
The reason
Why he was doing so

He was doing
Something so natural
Something so pure

He was selling
Selling books and magazines
To earn for his old man

To earn livelihood
Not for him but for the old man
Who was struggling for life

I remembered
Earlier once he had told me
About his old man

He was brought up by the old man
For him he was more than a father
For him he was his mother

His parents were busy in setting up their business
An empire for him
For establishing their dream
He was taken care by his old man

I remembered during school days too
I had seen the old man more than his parents
Old man came to every function held in our school
Parents Talk or annual function or sports day
He was always there with him

People sitting beside me
Were talking about him
Were praising him for doing such a noble deed

People told me
They have been seeing him for the last six months
Selling books and magazines for his old man

I remembered that
It was exactly six months ago
I wanted to meet him but he had declined

He had told me
He was busy
Going for some important work
Away from his house

I realised
What a person he is
I wanted to meet him then and there

I didn't wanted to meet him there
For obvious reasons

I tried to ask people about his house
The people told me the directions to reach
Without thinking for a moment
I started to walk

After about twenty minutes
I reached to a place
Covered with darkness
Having no electricity there

I was terrified
I turned on my phone's torch
I searched for him

Yes there was he
Giving medicine to the old man
Standing with a glass of water

I was there
Standing outside the half opened door
Thinking of him and his old man

I called his name
He was there asking who is it?

  • Waiting for a reply

I didn't told him
My name
Who I was

I told him
I was a distant relative of the old man
Have come to see him

He welcomed me in
I entered the room slowly
I took a quick glance of the room

There was a small table
Creaking bed
Torn curtains of black colour
A small box
Books neatly kept
Black and white photographs pasted on the wall
A small candle trying to save from the wind blowing
Big box of medicines kept
Labelled with expiry date
Some steel utensils
A broken mirror hung up on a wall

He offered me a glass of water and went out to buy something
I took it
I sat down beside old man

I talked to him about the things
Which made him happy
I listened to him patiently

As I was about to leave
The street light peeped in
He was there watching me carefully

I hurried
Hardly had I reached to the door then
He called my name

There was I standing there
Like a kid who has been caught playing in the sun

Yes he had recognised me
I had visited his house often
He remembered me

I was there
Watching him with moistened eyes
Eyes welled up

He came in with a bag in his hands
He was there still
He looked at me
I looked at him

He called me in
I asked him why he hadn't told me before
He calmed me down

He and the old man together
Told me the whole thing
How his empire turned into a house with no walls

How his parents
Were diagnosed with diabetes
Turning into cancer

Within no time
He lost his parents
His mother died of diabetes
His father died of cancer

His world came to an end
Have seen so much
He was disowned from his home by close people

He was crying in pain
Pain which is not understood by anyone
Except the sufferer

How the old man
Calmed him down
Saved him
In no time they left their place to move in here you

Promising him not to leave him
I came out of the room
With tears in my eyes and smile on my face​.

Tuesday, 13 June 2017


Nothing is going right
Nothing is going as expected
Nothing is getting better

I am here
Writing this
At the time when I should be sleeping

I am here
Sitting in my messed up roo
With my messed up hair

I see my life
All messed up like my room

I see the end is near
Waiting for me
To come unanounced

Having so many people
Having so many social networks
Facebook friends more than fifty
WhatsApp contacts more than hundred
Having so many friends

Yet no one to share
Anything or

 I am here
Again thinking
Analysing my life

I am here
Thinking negatively again
May be overthinking

I divert myself from thinking
Yet I think things which I shouldn't​
I remember the lost me

I  long to have a friend
With whom I can talk to
With whom I can share my feelings

I  know I can easily share my thoughts
I  can easily tell them about my feelings
I  can go and tell this to my parents
My brothers
My sister
My good family

But I don't want to tell them
They will get worried
Much worried

I don't want to let them know about me dying within
Me going from depression since the last ten months
I have already made them sad

They have faced a lot because of me
They have failed because of me
They have lost their good child because of me

I  have been like an ill omen bird
I  have been like a thorn to them
I  have been like a sour grapes for them

Yet they have done everything for me
Yet they have loved me more
Yet they have cared for me so much
May be their love is like this only
No complaints no demands

I do remember when I wasn't able to be a doctor
They didn't said a word
Respected my interest and decision to do something other than doctor or engineering

I  see my treasures of life
I see the bird sitting on a tree
Yet I fail to control my cerebrum

I get lost in my world
To be again
Disturbed by my own thoughts

I don't know
From where
The war between heart and mind
Comes into action

Not giving me time to think
No time for me
By me

Making me silent
Making me quiet
They start

Heart says
Not to make their life tough because of you
Mind whispers
To go and tell them as they are your family

The constant battle
Makes me uncomfortable
I want to be free
From this endless war

I want to be crystal clear
I don't  want things to be perfect
I want things to be better

I know things will be better
With time
With patience

Till then
I have to keep going
I have to keep moving
Slowly and steadily

I have failed so much in life
I failed at everything

I have failed Friendships
I have failed relationships
I have failed academically

Not once but thrice
Failed emotionally
Failed physchologically
Failed physically
Failed mentally

Failed in my dreams
Failed in my aims
Failed in my aspirations

Failed in keeping up to their expectations
Failed in keeping up to promises
Failed in keeping up to his last wish

Passionately I have failed
Professionally I have failed

I have failed
As a writer
As a poet
As a story teller
As a quote writer
As a novelist

 I have cried so much
I cry every night
I cry every day

When all are sleeping
My eyes get welled up
Tears falling down

I check my phone
To see if someone is available to listen to me
I see many people online

Elated to share my feelings
Or may be to be laughed at
I check my contacts

I get ready to share my feelings
I type the whole message taking minutes
To be deleted within seconds by me

Remembering that I don't have friends
Friends are busy
Friends are doing well in their life

Why someone will want to listen to
A crying baby like me
When they have other important things to do

Why would anyone listen to me
When everyone is going through daily struggles
When everyone is having so many problems in life

I don't know
Why I fear losing people
When I want to be alone in life

Why I want to share
When I know nobody cares for me
May be because of human nature

I have been popular
Popular among family and friends
For being an immature person

An attention seeker
A sympathy gainer
An annoyer
A person who forces to be talked to

Moreover everyone is alone
Alone and aloof

I don't cry
In front of others
Only people whom I trust

I have came a long way
From the darkness all around
I have found sunshine in my life.

Yes I have failed many times
I have failed miserably
I have been a failure

I am happy
You know why?

Because I have realised my mistakes
I have known my self worth
I have experienced so much in so little time

I have done nothing
Yet everything

I have never been on world tour
Yet experienced

I have  been not  very intelligent
Yet happy

I have never been in love
Yet have felt what it's to be in love

I have never​ been friends for much time
Yet have been friends with the best

I have never been successful
Yet have seen what are the challenges

I have never been to places
Yet have travelled

I have never topped
Yet have seen at the top

I have never received acknowledgement
Yet have written

With the dusk coming in my life
Dawn fading with each passing day
I have lived too much

I don't have anyone to tell
Yet have told things to many people
Have told them things with quite chuckle

I have been silent for years
Yet have said things to you
You know who all are you

Let me spend my days in peace
Days that will become memories for you

I see my writings
Going away from me
To welcome something grand

Keep reading my writings
Until you see my next writing
It's​ up to you either to wait or to move on

I will be there
To keep making this world a happy place
Till then I will miss you all
Again I don't know why

We will meet somewhere
After years
Many years
It will be a fairy tale to meet you all

Writings which you have read
Writings you haven't read
Writings you liked
Writings you hated
Writings you loved
Writings you cursed
Writings you thought were inappropriate
Writings you just had a look
Writings you were bored
Writings you never opened to read
Writings you never read
Writings you were uncomfortable
Writings you thought were confusing
Writings you deleted
Writings you never gave a damn to
Writings which have made you chuckle
Writings which have made you emotional

Let me walk
Let me feel the world
Let me see the world.

Monday, 12 June 2017

Who Am I

Everyone is sleeping
In their rooms

She is here waiting for sleep to come
She tries to sleep
She can't

Silently she moves out of her room
Silently she opens herself
In her balcony under the night sky

Looking at the sky
She wonders
What is there

With her thoughts running in her mind
She listens to the voices
Screaming within her

She sat there
Waiting for dawn
Sunlight to reach her soul

Instead of enjoying
The silence of the night sky
She overthinks

She is happy outwardly for the outer world
For people whom she comes across as
She cant tell them about her
Going through her bad days as told to her by someone special

Inwardly she is not at all happy
She is struggling

Struggling with insecurities
Struggling with anxieties
Struggling with depression
Struggling with fear

She remembers the beautiful moments
Memories being displayed in her mind
In a flashback

Years ago
She was happy
She was not the same person as she is today

She was a person with dreams
Aiming high
Working hard

With the each year passing by
With each celebrated birthday
Somewhere life faded away

With childhood leaving her
Innocence too was carried away
Without saying a goodbye

The years came one by one
In no time puberty too set in
Making her a teenager

An age when she was different from others
An introvert age for her
An age where she had faced much

She was not like others
She was unknown by herself
She was unique

Where others used to enjoy hanging out with friends
She used to enjoy in her own room
Reading books
Writing her heart out on a piece of paper

Where others used to be in relationships
She used to be struggling
To introduce herself

When others were going through a heartbreak
She was struggling
To get a book for her

When others used to hide things from parents
She was there
Telling them each and every thing

When others used to have best friends in school
She was there
Always aloof and alone

When others were busy making memories with their friends
She was there
With her brothers and sister

When others used to chided by parents for not helping them out
She was there
Helping her family in all household chores

When others used to have night talks
She was there
Sleeping by eight o clock to get up at five o clock

When others were living their best days of life
She was there
Studying for hours

When others were breaking rules
She was there
Following her timetable sincerely made by her sister

When others used to watch movies
She used to watch
Ramayana Mahabharata with her grandmother

When others used to play sports
She was there
Learning to ride a cycle by her brothers

When others were busy in watching t.v.
She was there
Busy watching nature

For being like this
She was abandoned by many

She remembered​
Many people ignoring her
Neglecting her
calling her coward  lifeless and abnormal

Years later
Something happened to her
God knows what
She started to be like others

Being a bold and confident person which she never was
In front of others
She lost herself
Her originality
Her innocence
Her patience
Her uniqueness
Her seriousness
Her sincerity
Her duties
Her responsibilities
Towards her family
Towards her life

Trying to fit in their world
She was carried away from her own happy world
A world where she could never get back
After losing her completely

While  being a person who is loved by everyone
She lost all her kindness
She lost her inner peace and happiness

Seeing others
She also started to enjoy life
She stopped helping her family
stopped telling them things
stopped studying as before sincerely
stopped watching Epics

When others were setting in adulthood
She was setting in her teenage years
Things which they had done in their teenage
She was doing in her adulthood

After so many years
Looking back
She realised​ what she has lost
Dreams  shattered by her

When she was mature before her age
Others were not
When others matured
She was still in her teenage years


What she should have done in her teenage years
She did now
When others want her to be responsible
To be independent
To be a lady with a class

She don't have much
Not many friends
Not many people
Not many memories

Have lost so much in life
Before starting a new life
Life has faded away from herself

She never had any complaints
She never demanded anything from anyone
Not from her parents even

Now when she wants to talk with people
Doing silly things
They want her to be mature

Life was good
When she was alone
Happy in her own  world

Away from all this
Away from negativity

Things became worse
When she wanted to be free from herself
Wanted to be with others

In changing herself
For others
She changed forever and ever

Now she realised that
She was going right
She was doing well

It was her blunder
To be liked by others
To be loved by others
Others who never wanted her in their life

She thought that may be
Something was wrong with her
Something was missing in her
Her attitude towards others
Her friends
Her family

She doesn't have many friends
No friends
To share everything
Good or bad

Looking at the night sky
She questioned herself
Who Am I.

She cried and cried
Why she didn't knew

She cried all night
Her health detoriared badly
She thought so much that she was suffering
From depression

She didn't saw any hopes to live
She wanted to run away
Where she didn't knew

With sunlight touching her gloomy face
She told herself
To rise above everything
To go and kiss the world

A world where she was happy
A world where she was contented
A world where she was at peace
Her own world

With sun giving light to others
Gave her the zeal to succeed
Gave her strength to move on
Gave her gift of innocence

With these thoughts
Dark night faded away
To welcome the new light
Which was to be felt by her

She stood up
To welcome herself
Lost somewhere years back.

Thursday, 8 June 2017

An Adieu To You

Today she has gone
She said looking at me
Tears falling down
Eyes welled up
Grief seen in her eyes

Without saying a goodbye
Without meeting me
Without having a last talk
Without saying anything

She has  gone so far
She has gone very far
She has gone away from me
She has gone forever and ever

It was the hot summery afternoon
Everyone was talking about her
Everyone wanted to meet her
The new student
Everyone wished to have a talk with her

I too wanted to meet her
I wanted to have a talk with her
I wanted to hear about her
I wanted to hear from her
Yet wasn't able to do so
Because of my introvert nature

I saw her
From a distance
She was getting​ social with everyone
I was busy watching her

I saw her
Her glowing face
Her neatly combed black hairs
Her eyes so black
Her innocent smile

I saw her
Waiting for her
To hear a word from her
To hear her melodious voice
To start a conversation with her

That was for the first time
I talked to her
I do remember each and every word
I remember everything
Clearly like water

Days passed by
I started talking to her
I took her number
Saved it in my contacts

Talking to her
I forgot that
I was again coming  in between two best friends
I thought I was ruining Friendship of others again

I thought not to talk to her
I thought to be practical
Yet I failed
I wanted to talk
My mind said no
My heart said yes

After some years
Everything changed
Classes changed
Streams changed

With that
Aims changed
Aspirations changed
Dreams changed
Careers changed

She was still the same
As she was some years​ back

 I wanted to tell her many things
Yet I couldn't
I wanted to say her so much
Yet I couldn't
I wanted to show her my writings
Yet I couldn't

I had lost my so called other
Best friend
I wanted to talk to her
But what I didn't knew

Technology was a saviour for me
Again I was in touch with her
Again I started talking to her
Again I started to tell her irrelevant stuff
Again I started to share everything
Again I started to share my feelings with her

Blunders done by me
Mistakes commited by me
Made things like a puzzle

Because of me
I ruined her friendship
I am without true friends
Waiting for my friend to come back
I am still waiting for her
 To see my friend

I know​ I was wrong
It was me who took her for granted
It was me who was not a good friend
It was me who spoilt such a lovely bond
Of Friendship

She always forgave me
For behaving immaturely
For not understanding her
For not listening to her

She always gave me so many chances
To be better
To improve
To behave

She is the gem
Which I have lost
Lost because of me
Only me

I  thank her
For everything
For each and everything done by her
For tolerating me
For making me better
For teaching me so much
To value relationships​
To value people.

Saying these lines
She went
Where ? Why?
Nobody knows.

Saturday, 3 June 2017

A Peaceful Sleep

Nothing is left in me
Nothing is there in me
I am just a piece of flesh
I dont know
What is happening with me
Why I am losing everything
Things are leaving on a bad note
I am there figuring out what is wrong
I have lost so much
I have nothing left in me
Broken Friendships
Broken heart
Broken relationships
I dont know
Will anybody accept me
Will my family accept me
Will my friends accept me
Will my world accept me
I am harming myself everyday
I want to stop all this
I try to end all this
I try to run from all this
I know
I was at the fault
It was my mistakes
It was my blunders
It was my immaturity
It was my sin

I have done nothing for my family
I have achieved nothing in life
I have not made my brothers dream come true
I have not made my sister proud of me
I have never been good at anything
I have never did something for them
I have never made my friends happy
I have done nothing for anyone

Thinking all this
I am going no where
I try to write about it
I try to read about it
I am regretting everything

Everyday I don't like to wake up
I don't like to go anywhere
I don't want to read
I don't want to write
I don't want to be in this world
I don't want to face my parents
I don't want to face my sister
I don't want to face my brothers
I don't want to face my friends
Yet I want to be with them
To spend time with them
To talk to them
Nights are my friends
In night I cry to my heart contents
Without any fear of being caught

I thought that nobody will be there with me
I thought that nobody will be there for me
It was foolish of me to think like this

With these thoughts
I am going to find a peaceful sleep
Let me sleep peacefully.

Friday, 2 June 2017

A Letter To You With Love

In few days  you will be going very far to start a new life for which I am happy for you. You will be meeting new people from new places with new backgrounds.You will be starting your new life with new hopes new challenges new aspiration new ambitions new things new dawn .Here I will be waiting for your message for your one call to hear from you.I will be reading your messages again and again.I will be longing to wait for you.Looking forward to meet you.I won't annoy you. I won't disturb you.You won't get disturbed by my useless messages.You won't get a call from me at anytime whether day or night.Here I will be struggling to get out of my depression.I will be struggling how to deal with life.You won't be here to listen to me to listen to my problems to give me one of the best advice.You won't be here to guide me to motivate me to tell me to chide me at times to tell me how to be serious to tell me what's best for me to be independent to do things which will help me to help me to get out of my daydreaming to get out of my dilemma.You won't be here to mprove me to make me better.That does not means that I will be idle.Years ago I met you on this lonely island of life.At that time I didn't knew that I will be so close to you.I may not talk to you about other things yet I talk to you.Wherever you might be you will keep inspiring me to be a better person in Life. I   will be here missing you very much.I will be waiting for your text and calls. I don't know what will happen in future will we be connected with each other or not but yes I have learnt so much from you.I have learnt many great things from you.I have learnt what to say and what not to say.What to write what not to write whom to tell whom not to tell. Now I know the meaning of the saying A man is judged by the company he keeps. I don't know do you also feel the same as I feel about you.Its okay we can't and also we shouldn't force anyone to feel for us as the way we think about others.I just want to say sorry for not keeping up my promise. I am sorry for not understanding you. I am sorry for not listening to you. I am sorry for taking you for granted.Whenever you wanted to tell me something I turned a deaf ear for which I am sorry. I am sorry for making conclusions myself about you when you were just being practically.I was thinking from heart you were thinking from mind.I am sorry for being selfish at times for not letting you concentrate at your studies.I just value you.In fear of losing you from my life I lost you forever and ever. In trying to stay connected with you I lost you unknowingly and unintentionally.Sorry I can't say this to you in person. I don't know why infront of you I become blank.I want to say so much yet seeing you I become dumbstruck and blank. I don't know why I am doing this some have started to say that I am addicted to you and also obsessed with you.I don't know why they say like this.May be they are right but they don't know about the difficulties of being an introvert person then getting such nice person and then losing them because of one's mistakes and blunders which no body does such immature things. I have never been so close to anyone except for my family and my sister. I don't want to have sympathy. I do know after reading this many will make fun of me will laugh at me.It is okay to think like this.I just want to thank you and wish you the best for your future.Go and achieve new heights.

Ultimate Truth

Yesterday coming back from the beach With wet sand all over my feet I stopped for a while near the shrine I saw you smiling From a dis...