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Showing posts from June, 2017

Biding Farewell

Sitting silently in my room
With music playing in my phone
Ears covered with  headphones
Waiting for sleep to come
I sat there

Listening to my favorite songs
On repeat mode
Humming them
I sat there

Remembering some happy days of my life
Moments spent with my loved ones
Memories made to cherish always
I sat there

Writing my bucket list
Adding more and more to it
Without giving a damn to anything
I sat there

Keeping my phone aside
Removing my headphones
Trying to sleep
I lay there

Rain pouring down
Rain of tears
Rolling down my cheeks
I lay there

Seeing the photos
Looking at them
With mixed feelings
I lay there

Reading the old texts
Reading the old mails
Exchanged with my people
I lay there

Watching them scoring new heights
Hoping for a better tomorrow
Seeing them smile
I lay there

Hoping for a better world for me
Drenched in sweat of sadness
Waiting for the sunshine
I lay there

Hearing the music of the weather
Pit-patter drops of rain
Falling on my room's roof
I lay there

Quietly …

Dying Me

Weeping always
Crying for hours
Having sleepless nights
Has become my daily routine

My family wants to know about me
My friends wants to know about me
But why I don't know

Why should I tell them
Why they want to know
Why they can't leave me alone
Why they can't

Life has come to a standstill
I don't know
What is going​ wrong

With each passing day
I am failing in life
Except failing nothing is seen

I don't know
What is happening to me
Why it is happening
I have no answer

I have failed in Friendships
I have failed in my short term ,long term goals
I have failed in relationships

I am not able to do things
Which made me happy once
I am not able to do anything

Reading books which I loved are
Waiting for me to read them

Writing which was so dear to me
Which was my life
Waits for me everyday​

I am not able to read much
I am not able to write anything good
Better than my previous writings

I don't know
Why I am not happy
After being a Graduate

I don't want people to…

Old Man

Yesterday I saw him
In bus
Sitting in front of me
With a cheerful smile on his face

Never  had I thought
I will be seeing him again
Around so many people
He was still the same
As he was years ago

I did wanted to have a talk with him
To relive moments shared with him
In the same city

City which never sleeps
City of dreams
City where weather can't be predicted
City where nothing​ is impossible
Mumbai city

I heard his voice after years
Soothing my ears
After so many years
Every word reaching to my heart

I wanted to ask​
Facing him was difficult
Asking about him was more difficult

I remained seated on my seat
Tried not to see him
Covering myself up with a stroll
To be overlooked by him

He got down from the bus
At the next stop
Still smiling

Puzzled I was
Seeing him
Sitting in the bus

I was looking here and there
I was confused
At the same time was curious

I was wondering
What was he doing
Why he was there

I wanted to know the reason
I wanted to ask him why he was doing so

I asked abo…


Nothing is going right
Nothing is going as expected
Nothing is getting better

I am here
Writing this
At the time when I should be sleeping

I am here
Sitting in my messed up roo
With my messed up hair

I see my life
All messed up like my room

I see the end is near
Waiting for me
To come unanounced

Having so many people
Having so many social networks
Facebook friends more than fifty
WhatsApp contacts more than hundred
Having so many friends

Yet no one to share
Anything or

 I am here
Again thinking
Analysing my life

I am here
Thinking negatively again
May be overthinking

I divert myself from thinking
Yet I think things which I shouldn't​
I remember the lost me

I  long to have a friend
With whom I can talk to
With whom I can share my feelings

I  know I can easily share my thoughts
I  can easily tell them about my feelings
I  can go and tell this to my parents
My brothers
My sister
My good family

But I don't want to tell them
They will get worried
Much worried

I don'…

Who Am I

Everyone is sleeping
In their rooms

She is here waiting for sleep to come
She tries to sleep
She can't

Silently she moves out of her room
Silently she opens herself
In her balcony under the night sky

Looking at the sky
She wonders
What is there

With her thoughts running in her mind
She listens to the voices
Screaming within her

She sat there
Waiting for dawn
Sunlight to reach her soul

Instead of enjoying
The silence of the night sky
She overthinks

She is happy outwardly for the outer world
For people whom she comes across as
She cant tell them about her
Going through her bad days as told to her by someone special

Inwardly she is not at all happy
She is struggling

Struggling with insecurities
Struggling with anxieties
Struggling with depression
Struggling with fear

She remembers the beautiful moments
Memories being displayed in her mind
In a flashback

Years ago
She was happy
She was not the same person as she is today

She was a person with dreams
Aiming high

An Adieu To You

Today she has gone
She said looking at me
Tears falling down
Eyes welled up
Grief seen in her eyes

Without saying a goodbye
Without meeting me
Without having a last talk
Without saying anything

She has  gone so far
She has gone very far
She has gone away from me
She has gone forever and ever

It was the hot summery afternoon
Everyone was talking about her
Everyone wanted to meet her
The new student
Everyone wished to have a talk with her

I too wanted to meet her
I wanted to have a talk with her
I wanted to hear about her
I wanted to hear from her
Yet wasn't able to do so
Because of my introvert nature

I saw her
From a distance
She was getting​ social with everyone
I was busy watching her

I saw her
Her glowing face
Her neatly combed black hairs
Her eyes so black
Her innocent smile

I saw her
Waiting for her
To hear a word from her
To hear her melodious voice
To start a conversation with her

That was for the first time
I talked to her
I do remember each and every word
I remember ever…

A Peaceful Sleep

Nothing is left in me
Nothing is there in me
I am just a piece of flesh
I dont know
What is happening with me
Why I am losing everything
Things are leaving on a bad note
I am there figuring out what is wrong
I have lost so much
I have nothing left in me
Broken Friendships
Broken heart
Broken relationships
I dont know
Will anybody accept me
Will my family accept me
Will my friends accept me
Will my world accept me
I am harming myself everyday
I want to stop all this
I try to end all this
I try to run from all this
I know
I was at the fault
It was my mistakes
It was my blunders
It was my immaturity
It was my sin

I have done nothing for my family
I have achieved nothing in life
I have not made my brothers dream come true
I have not made my sister proud of me
I have never been good at anything
I have never did something for them
I have never made my friends happy
I have done nothing for anyone

Thinking all this
I am going no where
I try to write about it
I try to read about it
I a…

A Letter To You With Love

In few days  you will be going very far to start a new life for which I am happy for you. You will be meeting new people from new places with new backgrounds.You will be starting your new life with new hopes new challenges new aspiration new ambitions new things new dawn .Here I will be waiting for your message for your one call to hear from you.I will be reading your messages again and again.I will be longing to wait for you.Looking forward to meet you.I won't annoy you. I won't disturb you.You won't get disturbed by my useless messages.You won't get a call from me at anytime whether day or night.Here I will be struggling to get out of my depression.I will be struggling how to deal with life.You won't be here to listen to me to listen to my problems to give me one of the best advice.You won't be here to guide me to motivate me to tell me to chide me at times to tell me how to be serious to tell me what's best for me to be independent to do things which wi…