Monday, 29 May 2017

As You Like It

Everything has changed
So dramatically
So drastically

There is nothing left in me
I have lost all hopes
I have lost everything

The dreams which
I had
I have seen

The ambitions which
I had
The aspirations which
I had

I don't see any scope
To live
To live for a better living

I cry and cry
I don't know
Why

I want to cry and cry
The whole day
The reason
I don't know

I don't know
Where I am going
Where I am heading in life

I want to flee
Where
I don't know

I want to run
Where
I don't know

The thought of failing in life
Kills me more
Within

I try to concentrate
I can't
I try to go away far
I can't

I see my life
Breaking into pieces
Infront of me

The very thought of
Doing nothing great
In academics
In any other field
Makes me mad

I know
It was my choice
It was my idea

I have so many
Regrets and Failures
In life

I know
It was my mistake
It was my ignorance
It was my carelessness
It was my rule

I know
Now I can't change anything
I can't do anything about it

I can never be the same
As I was
Before

I know
I can't yet
I can't stop myself from thinking all this

I know
I can't share my feelings with anyone
I don't have anyone
I don't have any friend with whom I can

It was my mistake that
I thought I had my friend
My best friend

But I forgot
Since my childhood days
I never had any best friend
I have no childhood bestie

I always came in between two friends
Unknowingly and
Unintentionally

Whom I thought were my friends
I was so wrong
I was just telling them things
Irrelevant things


It was my mistake
I thought that I can share my feelings
With anyone

It was my mistake
I thought everyone will be with me
Always

It was my mistake
that my biggest fear is
losing people

I have lost
So many people
So many friends

With this
I have become strong
I have tried to live alone and happy

It was my mistake
I was so emotional
So immature to understand life

I am still wondering
How to be mature
Mature enough to handle life

It was my mistake
I overdid everything
I overdid always

It was my mistake
I tried to keep everyone happy and smiling
I tried to keep in touch with everyone


I don't know
Why I am writing this
Why I am doing this

I know after this
I may lose everyone
Forever and ever


I know
I am not the only one
Who goes through all this

I know
With passage of time
Everyone is busy in their own life

I know
All are now grown ups
There is no place left for a person like me

Yet
I will keep trying to
Make everything as it was before
I know it is not possible but
It is not impossible too

You may call me
An attention seeker

You may call me
A sympathy gainer

You may call me
A crying baby

You may call me
An under estimator

You may call me
A child for life

You may call me
A pessimistic

You may call me
An ideal person for life

You may call me
A person lacking emotional stability

You may call me
A runner from problems

You may call me
A misguider

You may call me
A gossiper

You may call me
A messenger

You may call me
A person unable to express

You may call me
A person who will be alone always

You may call me
A loser

You may call me
A complainer

You may call me
A ungrateful person

You may call me
A backstabber

You may call me
An immature person


You may hate me
For writing all this

You may hate me
For not thanking what I have

You may judge me
As You Like It

For it is up to you
How to think
What to think

May be
I was overreacting
May be
I was possessive for whomever I meet
May be
I was exaggerating
May be
I was panicking
May be
I was losing patience
May be
I was overdoing it again
May be
I was responsible for all this.

Yet
I am always there for everyone
Always at
Everyplace
Everytime
Everywhere








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